UK Disability Resource of Disabled Needs

Rose123 · New Member Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: sussex

I have had enough!!

I have cried and cried today as my kids have been awful. My son thinks i favour my daughter and my daughter thinks she has got it so hard and hates her life and does not want to live here with her brother.

My son just does not get it. He has trouble understanding social situations but does not realise he has problems. He thinks it is everyone else.

I am tired and fed up.....

pixie · Site Admin Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 1973

I am so sorry you are having to go through this with your kids.

The holidays are so hard for children on the Spectrum with all the changes and visitors coming and going too. Different meals and different things to do etc.

I remember those times so well and really do feel the pain for you today.

Does your son have a support worker? I know some children do so that they can get out and give parents and siblings a break as well as the child going to do something fun with their support worker.
If he doesn't maybe that would be something to aim for at the meeting you have ask for from Social Services.

I know that doesn't help with today but hang in there, things will get better. xx
_________________

Rose123 · New Member Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: sussex

Thanks for the reply.

No my son does not have a support worker. We had a society involved and someone came round to get to know him. With a aim to getting him out.
But he would not even talk to them and would not stay in the same room.

They tried this for quite a while but it was going no were and the place that was funding it would not carry on with it as we were not acheiving what we were meant to do. (hope you understood that)

Today has been a complete nightmare. Well everyday is difficult. My daughter hates being round him. She has lots of friends and does alot away from the house but even if they are together for half hour it is awful, all hell breaks loose.

He is getting a big lad now and it is alot harder. I mean if things were put in place when he got the diagnosis at 8, then it would be alot easier. I mean like having to restrain him, i could do back then but now i cant. How can you restrain a 13 yr old? He has had me pinned up to the wall before and pushing me about. He is very strong.

It is like going round in circles....

I am just so glad that i have found somewere that can understand and relate to what i am going on about.

pixie · Site Admin Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 1973

If you haven't already it sounds like it may be an idea to have an assessment of needs for your son and as his carer you are entitled to have an assessment too as a seperate issue.

I think Social Services are the people to contact about that. There maybe something on the NAS website about respite and assessments.

http://www.nas.org.uk/

There should also be something for your daughter as a sibling of someone with a disability, maybe a club or days out etc.

I know it sounds awful but we were told that when our daughter got violent we were to call the police!! They would then take her to a place of safety. ie. hospital.

We never did but we explained to her that we would have to if we needed to. As bad as it sounds we used it whenever she was getting worked up that we thought she may become violent.

She was a bit older than your son so he may not understand and that may have no impact at all but just something that you may feel would work.

All I know is that it sounds like you are not getting the help you need and struggling on means that the people that are supposed to help are not.

I hope you get something sorted out very soon but we are here still to maybe help take some of the load. xx
_________________

Rose123 · New Member Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: sussex

I had the ed psych round a couple of weeks ago as they are going to be assessing him.

I had a assessment last summer and all SS said was they would pay for my daughter to do some clubs and for me to get support from the mental health team.
And then it was that there was nothing else they could do.

The system is just failing us. I am still holding on but am struggling.

Thanks xx

pixie · Site Admin Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 1973

How are things today?

Sorry I've not been on here much to ask until now.

I hope today has been a little easier for you all and that you feel less stressed today.

Let us know how you're doing. xx
_________________

Rose123 · New Member Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: sussex

Thursday wasa abit easier. I took my daughter to the shops to spend some of her money she got for xmas. When we go out for a bit i leave my son on the computer and guaranteed he wont move until we get back!!

Then my daughter met up with a friend in the afternoon so my 2 were away from each other.

I felt quite teary though.

Today so far i cant seem to wake up....

xx

pixie · Site Admin Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 1973

I am glad that Thursday was a little easier for you all.

It's nice if you can get out and chill a little to give you both a little time away.
It's good that you can leave him too. We are going to be working on that with our son very soon as he will also only sit and play his games.

I hope today will be OK for you too. It's so tiring so it's no wonder you feel exhausted today.

I have my fingers crossed for a realtively good day for you all. xx
_________________

pixie · Site Admin Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 1973

How's things Rose?

I hope it's a little easier for you all. xx
_________________

Speeds · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:23 am Post subject:

Hi Rosie

Thinking of you - hoping things are a little easier. That brick wall sounds a pretty tough one - can we help you bring it down? Let us know and do keep talking to us.

Big hugs to you and the family.
_________________
Karen, Dominic, Thomas, Zola and Belle

http://www.flickr.com/photos/the_hues/